Piggy’s little Blog

Don’t lie to youself you are fat.

Finding a reason to train….

If you, like I did at one time have decided to take up running, swimming or just physical fitness then find yourself a reason to do so because if you do not find a reason, you will fail.

It is true.

You will fail.

My best half marathon time was logged in at 2:46, this personal best was achieved at the Royal Victoria Marathon in 2006 when I was running the race in memory of my grandmother and grandfather. This reason, the decision to run it for them motivated me to contunie through the tough training days, it gave me the motavation to hobble my way across the finsh line even though I was injured. And at the end it gave me a gratification that I was doing something for them, it was in the end 21km of memories.

Now your reason dose not have to be profound, just give yourself some sort of motivation to move forward, your body can only do half of the work, your mind will be your greatest barrier in achieving your goals. Finding a reason to train, something personal to you and only to you will push your legs that extra mile, give you that extra push when you feel you can’t go on….

 

Oink, Oink my friends…

 

orgnial blog post found at https://jbingham82.wordpress.com

May 13, 2009 Posted by | Uncategorized | , , , , | 1 Comment

21km away from a dream

I am right now 21km away from a dream, a goal that I set for myself way back in fridgid November. The goal was to participate and run in a half-marathon. I am just over two weeks from this goal and I am, in short scared shitless.

I have done what I could. Trained properly, listened to my body and the limits it has showed me but still I am horrified that I will once again be plagued with injuries and will hobbile not run across that finish line.

Those who know me know that I have become obbessed with physical fitness, and running but what those people don’t know is that running this race is consuming every thought of every moment of my little life.

Even my subconsious mind is affraid, I have nightmares of not finishing the race, or finishing weak, or of failing to show up at all. This fear I have now come to realize is the only barrier between my goal of completeing the run in less than 2 and a half hours and to failing.

I am conusmed with two numbers, the 21km that I must run and my goal time of 2 hours 30minuties. Anything more than that goal will be utter and complete dissapointment.

So now I wait.

I wait for that 7am run, and to see which part of me will win….

 

My subconscious fears or my determination to kick the shit out of that 21km and it’s 2hour30min goal.

 

Oink, Oink my friends……

 

Orgninal post located at: https://jbingham82.wordpress.com

April 13, 2009 Posted by | Motivation | , , , , | Leave a comment

The need to look great in my “Birthday Suit”

 

I want to look good naked.

 

What?!?!?!?

 

What did you just say?!?!??!!?

 

Yup.

 

I- WANT- TO- LOOK- GOOD- NAKED.

 

      When I started my weight loss journey I wanted to get healthier, then when I was taken off my heart, blood pressure, and cholesterol medication then after that I wanted to get fitter and to be able to run a Half marathon properly. Now, at the end of my journey I just want one simple thing, to look good naked. When I say naked I mean  but-ass, birthday suit, “I feel a draft” NAKED.

 

     Now I am not saying that I want to have abs of steal, or even buns that would crush a rock, just that I want to stand in front of my mirror in my bedroom and say “Yup, I would DO me.” I don’t know why all of a sudden I want this, I am in a great relationship where I am respected and appreciated regardless of my size or shape, but I just want to do this for me.

 

My problem area

 

        Now everyone has there problem area, or as I like to call them “wobbly bits” that they hate. Some people hate their ass, while others think they have army tanks for thighs. For me it has, is, and always will be my stomach. All the women in my family tend to carry their weight in their stomachs, and although I have lost a substantial amount of weight and inches around my waist (12inches/ 1 foot has shrunk around my waist) I am still a little bit self-conscious about this area of my body. This is where ALL of my last 15 pounds live, I am fine with every other part of my body except for this one; my stomach, my flabby, fat, stomach.

     Let’s face facts; you can’t hate the way that your whole body looks. THERE IS PARTS OF YOUR BODY YOU DO LIKE. You need to find these parts, embrace these parts before you can fix your problem area. You must realize that some of you is fat, but that some other parts of you are great. For example, I have a great rack, (large boobs) and an (so I have been told) nice ass. I know this, so I don’t feel like I am a complete ugly fatty. Even though I have made major strides in self-confidence  with the “I am awesome attitude” I do realize that certain people don’t think this way about themselves and I respect that. But you need to find it, you need to take a good look at yourself and find the things that you like.

          

What you see VS. What is reality.

 

  Many people suffer from “body warping” meaning that they are one thing, and yet they see another. For example, my stomach. Every shirt that I wear I see it even though it is not as noticeable in all of them. I see my stomach larger than it actually is, I see myself larger than I actually am. To get over this I recommend that you do this;  Get out a washable marker, and stand against a white door. Stand there naked or in tight clothes and get someone to draw your ACTUAL outline on the door. Step back and take a look at it. Take a look at what you actually are, then draw with another color marker what you would like to fix  essentially draw  your new shape, draw your goal. You will be amazed how big or small you actually are. Just like you faced the numbers on the scale face this, accept this, and then move on.

 

 

I WANT TO STOP HIDING.

 

Yes, let those words ring out my friends. I don’t know about you but this piggy wants to stop hiding. I want to stop hiding behind baggy clothes, I want to stop hiding behind jackets. In the end I want to stand in front of my mirror and look good, actually no, GREAT naked. I want to look at myself, at every curve, every mark, every inch of me and feel great. This is by far the hardest part of my journey. It is the most frustrating part. I am lucky, I have surrounded myself with people who want to see me be achieve my best, I have essentially surrounded myself with people who are  pushing me towards this new goal.

 

Oink, Oink my friends…………..

 

March 9, 2009 Posted by | Motivation, Success, weight loss | , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

When a mile takes an hour.

 I am privileged to know a girl , actually a women, about 40ish. She is un-like most people, she is a genuinely  kind person. Like most people her age, she has  children who has recently left her nest. She was left with herself,  an apartment, and a dog. She however, was and still continues to be, an inspiration to myself and anyone else who will read this.

 

Her story:

               She was a fellow fatty, like me but a bit heavier, she was bubbly on the outside and hurting on the inside. Like most fat people she was great at hiding her sorrow, she buried it within the fat. Then one day, about 2 years ago I noticed that she was getting a little bit smaller. Then months after that she had shrunk more, until one day she was about half her original size. She had over come a negative lifestyle and had embraced a positive one. She did not diet. She did not follow any “fad” exercise regime. She just simply moved her pudgy body, until it was no more.

               Her physical changes were great, she was looking better and because of this (or so I could only assume) her attitude changed. The laughter that was generated from her, the smiles that now consumed the majority part of her face was real. Don’t ask me how I know this, Don’t ask me what the difference in her was but I can only tell you that she WAS now different, she was now better, she was now real.

              I am a person that talks and talks and talks and talks (thus the blog) and one day while chatting with this friend, I told her about the Half marathon that I was training for, we began talking about it.  I filled her in, how great it was to stand with my fellow runners and walkers and do what only a select few people can do. I told her about that crazy part of society that pushes their bodies to the limits all for a t-shirt and a metal at the end. I also shared with her that indescribable feeling of crossing the finish line, the sense of accomplishment you are given at the end, your real reward for running or walking the 21 km. She then looked at me “Piggy, I couldn’t run it” I then looked at back at her “ Then walk it” She then got excited, I could see it,  a fire was now lit underneath her, she now had a goal to work towards.

 

       She now walks to work, with arm weights in her back pack and every time I see her leave work, she is leaving with a smile. A smile that was generated for herself by herself. She is doing what most people don’t do, she has what most people don’t have, she is her own gift, she is her own accomplishment.

 

     She plans to walk the 21km and wants to complete it in 3 hours, but to her I say this…..Even if One mile takes you an hour to complete, even if you crawl across that finish line on May 3rd , no matter where life takes you or what new goals you set for yourself,  you will always be 21km  ahead of everyone else.

 

    

 

Oink, Oink my friends……..

 

 

March 7, 2009 Posted by | Motivation, Success | , , , , , , | 2 Comments

Mirror, Mirror On the wall…..

Mirrors.

Love them.

Hate them.

In any case they are everywhere. They are in the store window, when the sun hits it just right. They are in a calm lake that your eyes fall upon. Or they are simply just a thing that hangs in your bedroom, or bathroom. And no, Mirrors do not lie.

In any case they are everywhere. Everywhere you look, you are forced to look back at yourself. For some people they love it. These people, lets call them “the Lookers” come in all shapes and sizes. They are not just your tall, blond-haired nightmare- these people love what looks back at them.You know who they are, they are the people that want to make sure that every strand of hair is in it’s perfect place, make sure every eye lash is perfectly seperated. They want to see themselves because they are happy with the image that the mirror produces. They are happy with their own reflection.

Most of us however, hate mirrors. Most of us are envious of The lookers, and wish for that level of self-confidence.

For whatever reason, thin people, chubby people, most people just hate their refection. And when I say hate, I truly mean HATE-lets call these people, “The wishers”. These people look in the mirror or a reflection of themselves and wish that certain things were different. They wish their noses were smaller, ass a little less wide, whatever they wish, they wish it – and then look away from the reflection in discust.

I myself for most of my life was a wisher. I was part of the majority of society that hated what looked back at them, the wishers were my brothers and sisters. I wished that someone would just replace my body with a thinner more fit body. Wishing about something however I have now realized is only part of the battle. “Fait” has alot to do, you must give her a hand now and then. So my wishing friends, go on, wish. But wish for something that is attainable for yourself. Don’t wish to be something you know you could never be. Make the wish realistic.

Mirrors are not the enemy. Although many of us think that they are. Mirrors give us a glimpse of what we are, but more importantly they give us the motivation to become something that we want to be.

 

Oink, Oink my friends………..

March 6, 2009 Posted by | Uncategorized | , , , , , , | 1 Comment

Stop being an Idiot, and face the number on the Scale.

145lbs, 189lbs, 240lbs…whatever your number is…it is just that, it is YOUR number and if you intend on losing your fat ass, then face that horrible, discusting, frightning number.

It’s simple.

Stop being a god damn Idiot and get your fat ass on to that little metal scale, tilt your head downward and look at that number, face that number, ACCEPT that number.

If you think that you are going to “lose” weight without knowing where it is that you are coming from, then let me tell you something that no one else will, you will continue to be fat. You will lose absolutly nothing, so you might as well go up to the nearest McDonalds cashier and face them instead.

So face that number on the scale. Just look at it.

I know that at first you go to yourself “Holy god damn crap, I can’t believe that I let myself get this fat” As you have noticed I don’t use the nice phrases “Chubby” or “overweight” I don’t sugar coat it….just let yourself have that moment that, “F*%&! I AM A FAT ASS….” moment. Losing weight is like dealing with any other addiction….if you don’t admit you are addicted, you will never over come your weight. Look at people who are addicted to alchocol…what is the first “step” it is admiting that you have a problem but your problem is not found at the end of a Jack Daniels bottle it is found at the bottom of a Doritos bag.

I am not perfect. It took me 26 years to fully accept that number on the scale and believe me it was a scary moment for me. I felt horrible, and at first I just said to myself “I am already this fat, what is the point” I had about a week of feeling horrible and constantly saying to myself “Holy shit I am 193lbs, I am huge” but the thing is, all that looking at that number did was make me face my fatness head on.I couldn’t hide behind a coat, a large sweat shirt or a baggy pair of jeans. I was simply discusted with myself and my weight long before I looked at that number on the scale, I hated reflections, shopping everything that would expose me for the fat person that I had let myself become.

I was scared to admit that I was fat. Perhaps it was that is where my problem with battling my weight always was, it was with the self denyal that I let myself believe for so many years. I would see a fatter person than myself and say “adleast I am not that fat” but in reality I was fat, and I didn’t want to face it.

So ladies, Gentleman….If you want to change your life then do it. But first change the way that you think about yourself. Change the way that you look at that scale. It is true that the scale can be your worst enemy but now I realize that it can also be something to hold onto, something to work for, something to be proud of.

Most people don’t tell you this….

They say that the best part of losing weight is getting into that great dress, or tight pair of jeans but they are wrong.

The best part of losing weight comes when you tilt your head down and see your new number on the scale, that pride and sense of accomplishment is what people don’t tell you, that is your prize, your reward…..it is knowing that where you came from, is not where you have to be anymore.

Oink, Oink my friends….

February 25, 2009 Posted by | The begining of Your Weight loss Jorney | , , , , , , , | Leave a comment